I don't think i'm an angry person, just with certain people, they know exactly how to push me until I go ballistic. I've always been the kind of person that ends a disagreement by walking away from it, and when confontation is forced on me, I snap. I can't force the other party to seek help for their desire to push people until they snap (not just myself, but everyone) but I can teach myself to not get pushed.
I have found that i've come vey far since i've been making this conscious effort. I'm able to spend more time in situations that would normally make me bonkers, and i'm quite proud of myself.
The one thing that I can't shake though, is my ego. I have always felt like i'm much smarter than most people (especially in Carleton Place) I know i'm more successful than my former friends, that I know more about a lot of things, and get more opportunities. I had a really hard time keeping myself in check, and I suppose that is why they are my former friends (though nobody ever told me)
So imagine my surprise when I saw a couple of them at the store the other day, after not seeing them for a year! I came around a corner and was standing face to face with them. I was just about to say "hi guys" and had already started to wave, when one of them looked at me, then literally turned her nose up at me and kept walking. I waved anyway.
Now, this makes me feel better than them. I don't know why, but all of those feelings i've been controlling so well, just bubbled right up. I was kind of angry, but mostly I just started telling myself how much better I was than them for trying to be an adult. I have no idea why they are not friends with me anymore, but I can only imagine that it's because I felt better than them, and there I was just feeling all high and mighty over them because of their actions.
I don't know how to change that. I don't know how to not put personal thoughts/feelings/experiences to point, in a conversation. I don't know how to not compare myself to people when they are acting foolish.