You couldn't have possibly moved your feet because they were cement blocks, forcing you to stand and endure the blaze. You couldn't call out for help because the air around you was filled with sulphuric smoke, that stung to breathe. A forced agony that you had to stand there and take...nobody could help.
And so you burned until you became a pile of ash strewn across the sidewalk, feet trampelling on you all day long...kicking you around when you felt like you couldn't get any lower.
Depression makes you feel like sidewalk debris...like what's left after the snow melts away...the stuff that flows into the sewer as the new season brings budding flowers and sunshine to the rest of the world.
And then, as quickly as the fires came, they go away.
One day you're the dirt stuck to someone's shoe and the next, you're just like everybody else. A happy, unsuspecting little ray of sunshine.
Sometimes, when I reflect upon where I am, it hurts to even think about it. Other times...like today, I know that everything is right.
I am so very lucky to be alive. I have been through so much and i'm still here. I have faced the very worst, and it didn't kill me. So...why do I let the little things burn me?
Love..will always be the thing that can bring the sky crashing down on my world. I will always be dramatic about it. Honestly though, i'm comfortable with who I am and the relationships I have.
I am fortunate to have a few wonderful people in my life, that would probably brave the flames to rescue me, when I was at risk of getting burned.
Sadly, I have one less than I would like, but that's a learning experience I needed. I miss him terribly, despite my very strong facade. That was a life-long friend that I could have used. Perhaps, in it's own way though, it made me a better person.
If I had the chance, I would say i'm sorry. I think it would fall on deaf ears...or no ears at all, but i'd mean it. I really am sorry. I should be more careful with the hearts that are trusted to me.
I think, on days when the air is fresh, I need to not think so much about life. I wish I had some deep philosophical insight like I used to get on days like this, but I don't.
It's just life. I make mistakes, but I can't let myself regret them because it's those mistakes that brought me here...alive and able.
I hope everyone is enjoying their day, and the people around them as much as I am!