I was thinking yesterday, as I walked home from the North End (Where I no longer live, by the way.) that it's sad how everything is 20/20 in hindsight. The things that were so hard or just messed up are so clear when you look back. Mistakes are so easy to make when everything is foggy.
A year ago I went out with a guy a couple times who REALLY really liked me, and I kinda blew him off because he got really drunk one night. But now, having spent the past year going out with WAY TOO MANY losers, and liars, I have been thinking a lot about that guy...He wasn't all that bad, really. Oh well, little late to be thinking about that.
I realized recently that I don't really want a boyfriend. I mean, it sounds stupid because yeah, I get lonely and stuff, but I really don't need a boyfriend. I like being independent. I like knowing that I can do what I want when I want, and don't have anybody to answer to. I like being able to sleep in, or change plans at the last minute and not feel guilty about it. Most of all, I like being free of the bullshit.
I think, this makes me the kind of girl who will spend her life going out with guys once or twice, then never see them again.
I'm moving...across an ocean, in a month's time. That's big, right? But I've realized that time goes by very quickly, and I don't want to move on with my life, and regret that I never did anything big, never went anywhere new. Who knows what waits across the pond for me? Anyway, that's the big news.
My parents still don't know, and I have no idea how i'm going to tell them. The reason that I don't want to tell them, is because I know that they'll try to talk me out of it. That's why I never told them to begin with...I don't need to be talked out of it. I don't want to be talked out of it. Even though it's done...I have given notice at my job, at my home, I have paid for all of the paperwork and have found a place to live, and employment...I know that they will talk me out of it, and I know they'll think it's stupid and I need their support.
Anyway, I have to tell them today...
Always Living A Dream
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