So I went on a date tonight (obviously) and long story short..I got a bad vibe off of this guy, so I used the fact that I was really tired, to cancel on him a couple days ago. He made me feel really shitty and so I made plans with him for tonight. I still wasn't sure I was gonna feel it, so I told the girls to call me about 45 minutes after I left, with an emergency. They did, and at that point I had decided I actually like the guy.
He's nice. He's cute. He bought food for a homeless person and all...he was nice. I had a good time. We killed one of those stupid games you always see at bars. Our combined names are filling the entire high scores section.
Then, I decided he could stay at my house tonight. Seemed like a good idea. Only problem is that I have this thing with sex...I don't do it on the first date. Poor guy...I have such strong morals, and they've gotten in his way more than once, now. The worst part is that I really did want to, but sometimes what you want isn't always best, and I know what would happen if I slept with him. I'd probably never see him again, and i'd feel like shit about it. Of course, i'm sure i'll never see him again anyway, but at least I can still feel good about myself.
What's stupid is that he was nice about it. "I respect that." and "I'm here, i'm not going anywhere." Then we go for a drive, he grabs a coffee and says "see ya later." So I call him to make sure he got home alright and he abruptly ends the conversation saying that he'll talk to me tomorrow. For some reason i don't believe it, but I guess we'll see. Maybe he'll prove me wrong.
Anyway, as an act of revenge, he gave me the aforementioned hickey, which is actually much more impressive in person. It's taking over my entire neck. And yeah...I have to go to a baby shower, tomorrow. Nice, right?
Anyway, I am gonna go to bed now. I will have the entire bed to myself, so I guess that's a positive. Sure, he up and left in the middle of the night, with not so much as a kiss and a subtle "leave me alone", when I called, but at least I have a bed to myself.
Again, I must express how much I absolutely loathe dating. Can't a girl not give it up on the first date, and still get a second? It doesn't seem to be that way...and then if she does give it up, that's all it ever seems to be about.
All I know is that he was cute and nice and I totally would have, if not for my values (and the fact that i'm totally terrified of being used/hurt again...but he knows that. :()