Seriously...I recently read her book and ever since then, i'm addicted to her blog and next thing I know, I'm volunteering to help pump her book sales, by taking on several hundred postcards. (Which of course, could potentially result in a signed copy of her new book in my hands, next week, which is weeks before it's release.)
That's great, but i'm not one of the people who would get them and just let them sit around here and rot. I would feel the need to EARN that treasure, and spend every spare second, posting them at the University, the College and any coffee shop/bookstore I came across. But we know how seldomly spare seconds come to me, right?
Anyway, i'd probably lick the sidewalk downtown, to have a signed copy of her book, and since i've already e-mailed her and volunteered, I will fulfill my promise. ha.
Seriously peeps, buy it! "Bright Lights, Big Ass". It comes out May 1st and I promise you that you will never laugh more in your life. Check out this gem from her first book, "Bitter is the new Black":
"Today I felt better. That is, until Carol played me the voicemail I left her at 1:03am. Somehow I thought i'd be able to hold it together on the phone. Following is a transcript of the message I left:
'Oh heeheehee I waassshh wayyyting for a beep. But noooooo beeeeeep. Why don't you hash a beep on your, your, ummmmmmm...celery phone? Nooooo beeeeeep, hic, heeheehee.
Um, hiiiii itsch JEENNNNNNN! It's thirteen o'clock in the peeeeeee eeemmmmmmm. Heeeeeeeellllllllooooooooo! I went to my wedding tonight and it wash sooooo niiiiiiiice. Hic.'
More giggling and the sound of a phone being dropped and retrieved
'Nannyway, I am calling to tellll you nooooooo fishies tomorry...no fishies for meeee! I hic, heeee can't smake it to the quariyummm. Maybeeee you can call me so I can say HIIIIIIIIII later hic in the day hee hee hee. Call me at um, 312 ummmmmm, 312, ummmmmm, hee hee hee I can't member my phone, Hic. Do you know my number? Can you call me and tell me what it isssch? I LIKESH TURKEY SAMMICHES!'
10 seconds of chewing, giggling and what may be gobbling sounds
'Okay GGGGGGGoooooodniiiiiigggggggghhhhhhhhttttt! No fish! Um, how do I turn this tthing off? Shhhhh calllls over. Beee quiiiiiiettt. hee hee hee.'
15 mre seconds of giggles, hiccups, shushing and a great deal of banging."
BRILLIANT! AM I RIGHT? DO YOU SEE WHY I FUCKING LOVE HER?!
Let's not talk about how that is pretty much exactly like the drunk messages that I leave and get replayed on speakerphone infront of all of my friends.
Oh dear god! I think they're cleaning out my fridge. That is a SCARY thought. Lord knows what I have in there. Since i'm never here, my roomies buy groceries, and when they put them in the fridge, shove my food to the back, and it gets forgotten. Oh well, they decided to clean it out. haha.
I am reading this book called 'Apocalypse 2012'. It's about the theory that the world is going to end on 12/21/12 at 11:11pm. I'm not paranoid, but I find the whole thing interesting. It details the scientific and religious stance on the thery and why it's supposed to be believable. I know, I wonder how one can go from 'Bitter is the new Black' to that, as well. What can I say? I like to mix it up!